Recently, I joined the ticketing war to help my friend get 2NE1 tickets. It was very important to her, and I knew because she never asked anyone for anything but in this situation, she asked everybody she knew to help. I think there were maybe 6 other people helping her get tickets. Just one ticket too, not like a bunch. She just wanted 1 ticket. I had a great queue number of 3000-something and then the entire platform crashed and when I got back in, tickets were sold out. And they kept getting sold out. I was stuck in that endless loop, as anyone whoās done this before can understand. I spent hours refreshing and trying just to keep ending up in the same stupid āOh-no!ā page. It was very depressing. Personally, Iāve never successfully bought concert tickets since post-lockdown. It was way easier to buy tickets before the end of 2019 but practically impossible after 2020. Or maybe I just used up all my luck in this lifetime on other things? If Iām lucky, I have a friend who knows a friend who has a spare ticket. But the difficulty of getting a ticket now means that people cannot just sell others their spare tickets at cost priceāthey want to make a small profit for the privilege of letting you buy their ticket. In the past year alone Iāve failed to get tickets for maybe four concerts, and each time that happens, I feel something inside me wither up, such that the next time I bother trying again, I donāt feel as frustrated or maddened anymore. I want less. I can see other peopleās concert videos and not feel anything, which I know is probably some sort of repression or cope. I should feel something, right? Like envy or frustration? Desiring anything at all is painful, but the alternative is turning numb inside.
Reading
When tidying up my Goodreads bookshelves, I realised that Iāve read so many short story collections in my lifetime. Itās not even intentional and I donāt purposely seek them out. Itās just that when I feel like I cannot handle a fully fleshed out novel for the time being, the right book magically comes my way. I definitely feel that way about my recent reads, āGreen Frogā by Gina Chung and āGods of Wantā by K-Ming Chang.
āGods of Wantā is what I envision the phrase ācreative writingā to look like. Itās not accessible or easily digestible and there is a density to her style that forces you to slow down and really look at each line, process the choice of words, and yet still feel like youāve only grasped an outline instead of the meat of the matter. I mean this in a good way. I like it when language is usedāwielded, evenāso challengingly and unexpectedly. The images evoked are unlike any other. K-Ming Chang takes what you think you know about words and associations and stretches them to their limits. Understanding is possible but I canāt even begin to capture in my own words what sheās saying in each story. Her stories are the kind Iād love to assign to a class and see which lines resonated with who and why. I think everyone in class would come up with a different response to her writing.
āThe New Seoul Park Jelly Massacreā is a book that was sort-of trending and I picked it up because the phrase ājelly massacreā was intriguing. I thought that maybe people were served jelly that contained some kind of slow-acting poison, or that some guy dressed in a jellybean costume was going around stabbing people. I was wrong on both counts. Turns out, itās about some online devil-worshipping cult actually being right about the existence of the devil. People get turned into puddles of jelly. Itās a very bizarre way to die. If I think about it hard enough, this story seems to be about the ugliness and desperation of human desire, while the ending seems to be about the relentless greed of capitalism. I donāt know. What do you think?
By the way, I made an account on Fable so if youāre on there, letās be moots!
Eating
Iāve been eating noodles. I love noodles.
Met some friends to eat and chitchat after a number of years. Some things never change, even when everything else has. A lot has been said about the difficulty of making/maintaining friendships in adulthood. On one hand, I do relate because most of my friends became my friends only because fate put us together in the same classroom years ago, but on the other hand, I havenāt found it hard to continue to care for them or keep up with their lives. Maybe itās because my circles are very small to begin with and Iām more of a one-on-one person?
Iāve yet to figure out when to tell when oil is hot enough to be poured over condiments when Iām making onion oil noodles. Sometimes, the oil looks like itās sizzling but when I pour, it doesnāt even make a sound. Other times, I wait too long and the oil starts to burn and it makes my kitchen smell. Is there a definitive guide somewhere? I never knew itād be so hard to read the readiness of cooking oil.
Playing
I have been playing TWICEās latest Japanese album on repeat. I love all their songs but sometimes, I want to understand what Iām listening to. This album keeps me feeling positive when Iām passing away at the office.
Obsessing
Someone responded to my Carousell listing for an extra Sylvanian Families blind box doll that I had (the peach rabbit from the baby fruits series 2). She asked if I was open to a trade but I already had all the three options she offered me. It was at that moment when I realised that I had a significant collection, no matter how I feel about it. True collectors will always feel like they never have enough. Itās such a trap. Anyway, I thought sheād leave it at that but she actually asked me whether I had a specific doll in mind. I did, so I told her, and she said she had one but that her daughter had already opened the box and played with it.
One day later, she texted again to say that she managed to procure a brand new one to trade with me. Like, huh??? I was so surprised. She moved so fast and went out of her way to find that one specific doll that I wanted. She said she really, really wanted the peach bunny. This is true dedication. I donāt think Iāve ever been so hiong about any collection. I donāt know how she did it but Iām guessing she must have her connections, which implies an underground Sylvanian Families market in Singapore. When it came to meeting up, she detoured from her usual route and even made dinner plans nearby so she could meet me after my work day.
Anyway, this is the baby that I wanted. Iām obsessed with its oversized hat. Itās just a baby! The hat is the size of its body! So adorableā¦
Recommending
Today, I offer you an album from my secondary school days.
I used to know all the word to every song in this album. I probably still do, like theyāre filed away somewhere in my brain just waiting for the opportunity to burst out during karaoke. I think this is in large part due to my CCA being choir, so music was a huge part of my life and I looked up to these professional sopranos whose range I aspired to. I really loved Within Temptation and Nightwish (when they still had Tarja) an unreasonable amount. Nightwish came to Singapore once and I made sure I went to their concert. Itās very possible that my love of gothic unnerving stories came from me listening to nothing but symphonic metal for a significant chunk of teenhood.
Treating
I bought a shirt that is extremely impractical and not very safe to wear in public without applying tape to my skin. This is the power of adult money. From a parental POV, there is no way in hell Iād allow my kid to buy this, but Iām a grown-up who can do whatever I want, practicality be damned. If I went clubbing recreationally (is there any other kind of clubbing?) then I guess I have an outfit ready. Full disclaimer: I got it because of that Megan Thee Stallion song. You know which one. Exciting times!
omg that within temptation album!! <333